Have you ever felt torn between what society expects from you and what you truly need for yourself? In Rwanda, and maybe other societies in Africa at large, respect and obedience are valued. Often, the pressure to obey feels stronger than the quiet voice inside us that longs for care and rest.

I remember being on a bus, sitting in a seat I had chosen to rest. A Catholic sister (umubikira) came in, and passengers insisted I give her my place. They told me, “You are younger, let her sit.” In that moment my need for rest collided with their expectation of obedience. I stayed in my seat. Many criticized me, and I reminded myself that honoring my needs is not selfish, it is human. At the same time, I was also aware that the sister also might have the same needs like rest, comfortability as I do, and, I could still see her as human being with these beautiful needs while I was resisting manipulation.

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